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Original Monologues

Currently, we have 376 Original Monologues.
There are 197 Male Monologues.
There are 165 Female Monologues.
There are 14 Male/Female Monologues.

Humorous - M/F - 20 to 59

Author: Gilbert-Hill, Richard

( A MAN or WOMAN sits reading a book, unhappy. Suddenly he/she puts the book down, looking to either another nearby person or the audience.)

Man, I hate reading mysteries. 'Cuz I get into it, ya know? I'm following along, reading, and suddenly I wanna know what happens. Now what kind of shit is that? I mean, why can't they write a book where ya just kinda read along, it keeps your interest--ya don't want it boring, ya know. It can't be boring. But it's gotta be interesting.-- but that's it. Just interesting. It makes me nervous when I get this rivetting kind of shit goin' on. You know what I mean? I start ta feel manic, I can't sit still, I gotta keep flippin' these fuckin' pages, 'cause I gotta know what's gonna happen. And what pisses me off more than anything--I'm tellin'ya, more'n anything--is that I'm tempted. I'm tempted to read the ending. And that fucks with my sprituality. It is not very zen-like to jump ahead and read the ending, which is what I wanna do. It is un-zen. What would my monk say? I mean, I sit with this extremely calm, bald-headed man twice a week trying to comprehend serenity and he's tellin' me that life is a river and I must submerge myself in its currents. Don't look for where the river begins. Don't look for where the river ends. Go with the flow. Breathe in. Breathe out. (He breathes) Okay. (Beat) So if this book is a river, I can't go looking for the end. 'Cuz I probably wouldn't be able to comprehend the end even if I saw it. (beat) So, I'm fucked. Why the fuck am I readin' this book? I shoulda stuck with those biographies. I mean, I know how they end. I mean, they're dead. They all die, but it's all very interesting to read.

Gilbert-Hill, Richard | Internet Rights : www.themonologueshop.com

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